A common theme in counseling these days is learning to not take responsibility for other’s emotions. I think we often believe that we are actually supposed to try to keep everyone around us happy, and that we are failing if we don’t. We blame their anger, sadness or disappointment on ourselves, thinking that if we had just gotten it right they wouldn’t be feeling this way. I know I struggle with this myself.

My friend Mike Wells used to say that no one makes you feel anything—you choose it. I didn’t like that statement at all, as I tended to blame my emotions on others quite readily. You can’t play the victim if you can’t blame your feelings on someone! Another way of saying it is that you can’t always control your circumstances, but you do have ownership and choice in how you react to them. I would say that this is only possible through life in Jesus, as it is fruit of the Spirit to have self-control. I pray for His fruit to be seen in me as I react to things that frustrate or annoy me, not allowing my initial reaction to be one of anger or lashing out.